The carer role is hard. It takes your attention, focus and emotional energy, often with little or no return.
I have been a carer of some form, my entire life – even when I hadn’t realised it. My carer responsibilities have shaped who I am – my goals, my behaviours and quite possibly, my brain itself.
Ordinarily I can manage life well. I have a good job, stable home life, community connections, small groups of friends, and hobbies I enjoy. But as a carer, my life can be overturned in an instant.
I am still learning the signs that I am headed toward breaking point, but these seem to be the five consistent ones:
- My memory is interrupted. I forget tasks or conversations, and I struggle to recall things without prompts.
- I am always tired but I struggle to sleep. I wake during the night and can’t get back off to sleep.
- I procrastinate. I put things off that could be done quicker and easier if I do them straight away. I tend to leave things to the last minute and put pressure on myself.
- I become hyper-focused and almost obsessive about something. This has been unhelpful and harmful at times, depending on the target of my focus. I am unable to concentrate on anything away from this focus.
- I am unable to complete a task. I am easily distracted and find it hard to finish tasks.
Individually these things seem quite inconsequential. But when they all happen at the same time, and to a level that leaves me unable to function, it is a significant issue.
I know these things are not specific to me, or specific to caring. They are symptoms of depression and situational mental health. For me, they come to a head when my carer load is too high.
At different points in time over the last couple of years, my carer responsibilities have amplified. Our home has been transformed to a medical care centre, with nursing staff and supports moving through the house each day. I have been coordinating appointments, funding, rosters, and activities. I administer personal care, emotional support, assistance to medical staff and administration. All while working a full-time job and supporting a team of staff.
As a carer, having a workplace that understands and supports me in times like this is crucial to ensuring I can function at my best – for my employer and for my family.
The above-mentioned signs are signs that my cognitive functioning is impacted, and something needs to give. For many carers, work becomes a luxury because the load becomes too much.
While it hasn’t always been the case, I am lucky at the moment to have a workplace that provides the environment I need to balance everything.
So what do they provide that makes a difference?
Flexible working arrangements
Providing staff with the option to work from home (or hybrid) to reduce the added time crunch of a commute, helps make carers more available at both home and work. Working from home completely is not always the answer either, as it is important to get some respite from the carer responsibilities.
“It’s okay to not be okay”
In many professional environments, there is pressure to be your best and show that you can perform to the highest level. It is important for carers (and everyone) to feel like they can say “I am not okay right now and I need to step back”. This may mean time off, reduced workload or a reallocation of tasks for a period.
Efficient practices
There are so many apps and software programs out there now that help us organise tasks and plan our day. It reduces the cognitive load if a workplace implements strategies for efficiency such as using time-blocking, setting and maintaining clear boundaries, and delegating and sharing tasks. It is also valuable to consider whether there is space in the calendar for work that inspires and motivates.
Communication
It is important carers communicate the support and adaptations they may need. This might be as simple as communicating boundaries, or it may be reaching out for help. A workplace that has pathways and makes time for this is invaluable.
Understanding and awareness
The carer role can be so much a part of our identity it is often hard to see things change until it hits crisis. We rely on others to notice and hold space for us to seek support and get back on track.
Carers have valuable experience to bring to the workplace. Our professional skills are given depth and value through our lived experience. But balancing it all is a heavy cognitive load. We need those around us to honour our request for boundaries, lists and memory prompts; to listen when we say things are tough; and to value what we bring to the table when we find our balance again.
